Divorce people, before you divorced did you do everything to try to save your marriage?
April 19th, 2011 by
Question by Water: Divorce people, before you divorced did you do everything to try to save your marriage?
Best answer:
Answer by Luscious Cocoa
That’s a good question. I hope so. Some people divorce and move in with someone else and then remarry. No appreciation for true love, monogamy, family and companionship. Where is the loyalty that used to come with marriage? It leaves a woman with less to look forward to–no nice white house in the suburbs with a nice kitchen and dining room, dinner on Sundays, someone to put up the angel on the Christmas tree, to buy you flowers, it’s so sad.
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Sure did–counseling, talking, begging and pleading, etc, etc. He was a liar, cheater, drug user and abuser, user and abuser of me and his two kids, threatened me many times–in front of his kids, controlling, etc. I dated him for three years and we were married for 17 long years. I gave it my all and it didn’t do any good. What worked was leaving and divorcing him for good–along with a restraining order. I heard things from mutual friends about him the past two years and found out that in the past year he has calmed way down and is not the same person he used to be. So, I contacted him. He is definitely a different person now–not abusive in any way, doesn’t get angry over the smallest things, not using drugs, etc. I would not marry him again, but I am friends with him (something we never did before).
I strongly believe that I did all that I could, to the best of my knowledge to save my marriage but sometimes there come a point you completely cut it loose and call it a quit. I persevered, endured, blamed, gave chances, open up a better understandable communication, forgave, asked for help, motivate myself that thing would one day turn to be better, but whatsoever I did, knowingly that its was 100% best to my family, she never appreciated. Each time we disagree on something, she asks for divorce.She wanted to do what pleased her to do either be it hurtful to me and the kids or not. A stagnant marriage that never grew, new what to say and how to say but yet still it didn’t make a difference. So with all my dreams and interests put on hold, I reevaluated the marriage as unworthy. It had no value, didn’t have happiness, no room to grow, we can’t compromise despite being patience for more than 4 years working things out, Working two jobs, schooling, coming home to cook, clean, do laundry, pay all the bills, while she wasn’t working, just being at home watching cartoon with the kids etc. I called it quit and agreed to her request for us to move on with out lives. It didn’t took a week for her to realise, open her eyes, her mind that what he thought was wise, was a road that had barriers. She turned back fighting hard to keep her marriage but hen it was to late. It was a tough life for one to endure. I regret to have married if only I knew what I was to face ahead, being the first one in out extended family background to marry and divorce, my kids not have a perfect family as I had tried to rebuild etc but its worth to move one that staying in unhealthy, unhappy marriage. Its a month now but something funny about it is that we are still under one roof claiming that she has no where to go still begging for forgiveness But in a month time, I am moving out and begins a new chapter in my life.
There was nothing to save. I wasn’t going to stick around until he hit me again.