Divorced or soon to be divorced people, do you wish you had tried harder to save your marriage?
Question by Autumn: Divorced or soon to be divorced people, do you wish you had tried harder to save your marriage?
Do you still love and wish you were still married to, or there was hope to stay married to, your (ex) spouse? Or, was/is divorce the right answer and you are/will be happier?
I am happy that my marriage has new hope after thinking it was over. We went all the way up to having the final divorce decree drafted. We both love each other and don’t want the divorce. Now we are going to go to a different marriage counselor and fight for our marriage. I think that if you believe in something and love someone deeply enough, you should never give up hope or trying.
It does take two people to want to make it work. We’ve been through a lot. This past year has been almost impossible to get through at times. What I meant is that if you both still love each other, then you should not give up hope. If one does not love back, and you know that, then it would be time to let go. There are not always happy ever afters, but I am determined to fight for what I believe in, and my husband is, too. We both made some mistakes but we can start a new chapter without ending the book.
No, I meant that we are both going to the same counselor, just a different one than we had before. You are right, too, about the trying something different part versus trying harder. It’s best when you both have the same timing or are on the same page as far as what your mental and emotional state is over the marriage. It will only work if you’re both willing to work on it and compromise, so sometimes it is trying something different. No matter how hard one person tries, it really takes both of you.
Best answer:
Answer by jk1967
my ex was more interested in booze reliving her teenage yrs and getting on welfare so no i don’t miss her at all
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All that you say is simply wonderful. However, please ALWAYS keep in mind…..that it takes 2 to make a marriage work!
happier, but occasionaly I think it would have been nice to retire with the same person……..you married. but if it doesnt work out just move on it will never get any better……
See my point is that my ex got really lazy and wouldn t wana have sex with me . He would havebeen a nice old man to retire with after I turn 65 but not now. I dont need his fucked up attitude and coldnes.s
when only one person is working on a relationship, let alone a marriage, it will never work. You only end up exhausted, frustrated, miniscule, to say the least. you start resenting the person you once loved with all of your being, and rebel…
“fighting” for the marriage will bring victory, only if both parties’ hearts are in it… otherwise, the person who’s solely in the battle, fights in vain.
hope will be there for a while, and then you start to realise that fairy tales and happily-ever-afters are merely stories. it will take a lot of tears, sleepless nights, self-hate, emptiness and lonliness before you can feel like yourself again.
And if you’re lucky, you’ll be a stronger person than you were when you met them… and if you’re not, well, then, your therapist will get richer in the process….
I was in a very similar situation. I’ve now been divorced almost a year. Based on what you described, I would guess that if you do get divorced, you will be questioning yourself for a long time about whether you did the right thing or could have done something else. I do every day and I miss her every day. Does that mean I made a mistake? I don’t know. I hate the term “tried harder”. I think it’s better to say, “tried something different.” If you really want to work on it, the two of you should be in joint counseling. The separate counseling was the end for us. Try reading “The Road Less Travelled”. Not specifically just for marriage, but for yourself.