Do you know a Good Marriage Coach from a Bad One?
Question by TJ: Do you know a Good Marriage Coach from a Bad One?
I want to shed some light on a good marriage coach, for people having marriage troubles, since my marriage ended 4 years ago without even a fight. I’ll attempt to give the best advice I can to save a marriage, even though mine wasn’t salvageable.
I will not play a victim role because it made me a stronger person.
One day the ex tells me she doesn’t love me anymore and wants out. We had a 3 year old at the time and I was stunned/numb. In our Marriage, there was no physical, mental or emotion abuse on either side, not was there any indication we were headed for divorce, so remember it can come out of no where. The reason she gave was a break down in communication, Duh
Anyhow, I asked her if she would consider counseling so she agree to go to a marriage coach recommended by Michelle Wiener Davis “Divorce Busters” .
I was determined to save out marriage so they recommended a marriage coach near me in Plymouth, Michigan her name was Dotty Decker and it was the beginning of the end.
DO NOT USE THIS PERSON!
http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.co…
When i finally got a reluctant wife to commit to a single session, by the middle of the session my now ex was running for the door, the so called marriage coach, wasn’t connecting and able to control the session with my ex. Dotty from what I could see was getting angry, and as my ex headed for the door she blurted out, ” I know some good divorce lawyers”. I almost fell over. I was thinking WTF! this is not happening.
Because this so called marriage couch couldn’t get through to both of us, her emotions surfaced and destroyed any hope for another session.
So the moral of the story is take some time and really get good references to a good marriage coach.
It still takes two people to want to be in a marriage, but if you have someone in the middle adding fuel to an already delicate situation the process of recovery is doomed.
Now on a good note, I did get another marriage coach through the same organization, that helped me via phone counseling and she was really good. I figured I would still do it on my own even if the other person wasn’t going to. Doing this helped a great deal, because the coach they paired me with saved me allot of grief, in the long run.
Now for the lawyers. Here in the unwritten law and code of the scum bags. Lawyers will look at the assets, yours and hers and they will milk it along until you both have almost nothing, then tell you to settle.
My advice is work everything out between the both of you and file on your own, it will save you a ton, but you’ll need to have some maturity involved. Me I just bit my tongue allot and pushed for fair child custody, and equally assets split. And it worked out really well.
After 4 years I still hurt a bit inside and wonder WTF happened, well actually I know now, but I don’t understand why people can be so self-centered and cold.
But what I did get out of the marriage was the most beautiful gift that anyone could give me and that was a wonderful son, so I regret nothing and would go through the same, ring of fire. lol
I wish you all the best, be careful who you chose and take your time, asks other people who have had successes with marriage couches.
Peace and Love to you.
Trish,
Thanks for your input. We actually had a christian counselor that was going to give us 20 session at no charge, after she heard what happened with the first counselor, but my ex refused to go. It really takes two mature people willing to work things out. One person, I believe can not save relationship, since it takes two to form it.
As long as the marriage coach comes highly recommended by people that have already used them and you can talk with them directly, I would not choose anyone with a bunch of titles and degrees, because they mean nothing, if that person lacks compassion, skills and the ability to access the situation.
Peace and love to all that read this post. I really wish you all the best and many years of happiness.
Best answer:
Answer by sunshine11
A good marriage coach would be the one who hasn’t been hired to advise anybody who is married. He or she is like the good counselor, psychologist, or consultant. They’re at their best not interfering with somebodys business.
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Tags:Coach,from,good,know,Marriage
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thanks, this was really good advice!
my bf and I want to get marriage counciling BEFORE we get married so i’ll definitely double check everything. before, i just thought i could choose anyone.