Does it make you a bad guy for wanting your marriage to endure past infidelity?
Question by KB: Does it make you a bad guy for wanting your marriage to endure past infidelity?
I’ve seen people call him everything from insecure to a doormat. Does it not take a strong man to move past this if he wants to save his marriage? Why is it that he can not been seen as a devoted husband to his wife and marriage? Why is it that society wants to view him as weak if he chooses to have a solid belief in his vows? I love my wife with all my heart and I know what she did was wrong but that doesn’t erase the fact that I love her. Maybe it was because I was raised around my grandparents who endured any and everything and still stayed together. Why does society place this burden on the people by asking them to choose between themselves and his marriage? Is that how we look at marriage today? What happened to “I” becomes “We” and each person says “I do?”
Can someone help straighten me out on this? I love my wife I truly do and she says she still loves me. A divorce would be so easy…all we have to do is sign.
I don’t need validation…I just want to know why as a society we view marriage or the attempt to reconstruct a damaged marriaged a bad after wrong has been done.
Best answer:
Answer by mahrye
You’re a good man…….
Stay strong and good luck to you and your family.
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Tags:endure,INFIDELITY,Marriage,past,wanting
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Well, I for one wouldn’t take my husband back… I made my vows before God and according to Him, if my husband cheats, then I am no longer his wife.
I can forgive, and the Lord will forgive him as well… But, I couldn’t stay married to someone who couldn’t respect me or marriage enough to cheat.
As for what you do, that is entirely up to you. But, let me ask you this… Why is it you need to hear that you’re an ok guy for standing by your wife? Why do you need to hear that what you’re doing is right? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and you already know yours. If things are working out, why is it that you need validation from the rest of the world?
NOT AT ALL!!! And those who are strong ARE the ones who can make it past their spouses indiscretions…and what you find on the other side of the hurt and disappointment, just may be the last thing u expected…and make it all worth it. And vows are vows dammit!!!
I don’t think it makes you a bad guy or weak or anything like that. I actually agree with you. I would try to make my marriage work after infedelity as well. Till death do us part is what I think about. I applaud you.
I think you’re a very strong and smart man for wanting to make the relationship endure the test of infidelity! I’m probably in the minority, but that’s just because most people nowadays are all about making things easier. I think we’re all tempted to jump on our high horse and make the person who messed up suffer…but it’s not easy when you love them, right? I think a man who takes back his wife after being unfaithful is seen in a better light than a woman who takes her husband back, though I’m not sure why.
When I was younger I used to say all the time that I would leave my husband if he cheated on me. But now that I’ve been in this marriage for so long, I’m realistic. No, I don’t think I would. Many women would call me a wimp and not knowing my own worth, but I think that it’s more than just a dating relationship. “For better or worse” means something to me. Silly, huh?
Keep up the great work with your marriage. You should feel very proud that you’re fighting to make it work.
I agree with my girl Beatngu……
I could tolerate and endure a LOT OF CRAP, but for me, cheating would be the dealbreaker……….
You will have to live with the knowledge that she preferred having sex with someone else. It will bother you every day of your life from now on. It is part of your relationship with this woman, it will affect everything you do and think from the moment you found out until you die.
You will never trust her again, and always wonder where she is at and with whom, when she isn’t by yourside.
Can you endure this? If so, stay with her. If not, get a divorce. It’s your choice and your busniness, not ours.