Q&A: cheating on my wife, what can i do to save marriage?
Question by nut: cheating on my wife, what can i do to save marriage?
i am a 25 year old with a 4 year old son and a baby on the way. my wife found out i was cheating on her when she looked through my text message history. i confessed to having an affair. i was never a great husband in the first place , could never seem to make wife happy and when things seemed to be starting to be going better she found out i was texting hundreds of messages a day for the past few months. my wife is pregnant with our second child that we were both looking forward to. i want to do what ever i possibly can to salvage our marriage but i dint know what to do to make it work because she is heart broken and will not forgive me for what i’ve done. she doesn’t believe that i love her. how can i prove to her that love her and make her take me back.
Best answer:
Answer by Gourmet Flossie
You cant, you have betrayed her in the worst possible way.
Maybe if you suggest (and follow through with it) counselling for your issues then she may be prepared to give you a chance but I highly doubt it
BTW, i meant counselling for you, and you alone to deal with YOUR issues. then maybe marriage counselling if she is prepared to give you a chance
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Tags:cheating,Marriage,Save,wife
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I think you know most of what has been said here. So let’s move forward.
Firstly, you need to sit quietly and work out if you REALLY want to make it work. No REALLY make it work, long term, not just till things seem to be better. Do you think you can not cheat again?
If so, how about telling her that you are truly sorry for what you have done and would like to “rule off the page and start a new page”. Promise her you will be the person she married, if that person was a decent person.
If you can’t say it, write it in a nice note and give it/leave it for her. Do it on nice paper. Go and buy something special – you are trying to mimic what a woman would do in similar circumstances.
Tell her you don’t expect forgiveness straight away, but that you will earn her forgiveness and trust. Tell her you know it will take a while. An idea would be to get the e-book at http://bringbackthespark.com and follow what it says. You need something to keep you on track. I think it is only about $ 35.
Give her time to trust you again – it WILL take time. Help her with preparation for the baby. If there are classes to go to, go to them. Do whatever it takes. DON’T expect sex any time soon. Sex to a woman is not just physical. You did this – it will “cost” you. Good luck.
MEN….
UGH..
ALL YOU CAN DO, IS KEEP TALKING TO HER..KEEP APOLOGIZING..
THATS ALL…
even though she is not going to believe you..just keep doing it..
and dont buy a gift…thats cheesy..
just talk talk talk..oh..and LISTEN TO HER..LET HER VENT…EXPRESS HER FEELINGS…and just agree with her…let her know u agree that it was wrong…you were a dumb @ss for cheating….
thats all you can do buddy, and hope she doesnt leave you and taker everything you own.
Go get counselling for urself, find out why u cheat and what u can do to stop urself from cheating in the future. Tell her you want to improve urself. Promise everyone that you will not do it again. Please ensure that is true til the day you die.
In the first place, why did you do it??? She’s pregnatn with YOUR child, not as if she’s pregnant with some random guy’s child!
It’s her right to be heartbroken and do whatever she wants to you. Afterall you thought u had the right to cheat didnt u???
Get some help for her, counselling or jsut be a pillar of support for her. She needs a place to vent adn be real angry and all that… It’s either you be that or you leave. I’m serious. I know coz I’ve been cheated on when I was pregnant and it sucks big time adn it’s now 6 mths on since the day I found out and it still hurts so much.
And my hsuband isn’t helping by getting angry when I vent.
i think that to really show that u really love her, i think do the necessary things. such as counselling(i think it helps both party, u n ur wife), show more interest in her life(sincerely, not faking and acting), listen to her when she talks(not only hear, but listen carefully and give ur attention to her), show remorse(u really have to be remorseful in the first place).
i seriously think that going counselling helps alot. and please be sure not to do it again. cos if she gave u a chance, doesnt mean that she will be there again if u break her heart again.
we got limits, surely ur wife has them too. so please if u think u want the marriage, work on it. if u think u are not sure, please take time to think and look into urself if u want the marriage.
its hard work. but if u want the end product to be good, u got to work on it.
i think everything is possible.
The reason why it’s impossible for you to prove to your wife that you love her is because you have already proven to her that you in fact don’t. If you loved her, you would have never cheated on her. Sorry, loser, actions speak louder than words.
There is only one who can save yor marriage and can keep it intact. You children deserve to have a father and your wife deserves to have a Godly husband. Don’t give up on them! I also have marriage problems. I have tried everything under the sun to save my marriage, nothing worked, it just kept getting worse. One night i found rejoiceministries.org, and my life changed. I gave my life back to God. I stopped trying to do everything my way and started trying to do everything according to God’s word. Since then God has started answering prayer after prayer. I know now thet there is nothing God can’t do. He has saved my marriage and I am on the path to restoration. Let him save yours! rejoiceministries.org