What to do? Try to save it or start on divorce.?
Question by Wild Child: What to do? Try to save it or start on divorce.?
I love my husband but this is the seconsd time I have caught him in lies he has lied to my face. He said he stopped talking to one lady that was his friend but liked him more than that which would flirt with him and wouldn’t stop, He’s still chatting with her. And then I find he’s telling people he’s in middle of divorce and seeing if they want to get together with him. We have been working on our marriage alot the past month and I thought everything was ok till today when I found ALOT of things. I did confront him and he can’t man up and won’t tell me why he did what he did. His mom thinks it may have some to do with him being out of work but I can’t take it. I love him and I am in love with him but I can’t be disrepected as his wife and mother of his four childern. I want to try to save this marriage but it takes two.
Best answer:
Answer by Citizen X
Well sweetie, if he is trying to get women to be with him, then i think he is done. Move on.
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Like you said, it takes two, and currently you are one short in your efforts to save your marriage. You need to separate at the very least.
just what you’ve said, you can’t be disrespected as his wife and a mother of four children.. you just answered your question.. if he can’t be responsible enough to be a man, what more in being a husband and a father.. you know what to do.. if you’ve done everything just to save it and still nothing happens, it’s not you’re fault..
You are correct. It takes two.
Unemployment is hard on a family. Sorry to hear that. But it’s not an excuse.
Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you to work this out.. It may help.
Bottom line is if he lies to you, he is not trustworthy. And trust is a vital part of a good marriage. So is fidelity.
But a divorce has to be your decision, based upon everything in your marriage.
Good luck!
HIs mother should stop trying to make excuses for him. There are millions of men out of work who are not sneaking around on their wives. He’s cheating whether he considers it cheating or not. You need to set some very specific boundaries for this straying husband. Sit him down and explain appropriate boundaries for married men when conversing with other women. He has to do a no contact with all these women. Absolutely no contact whatsoever. And haul this guy off to marriage counseling. You are quite right that you can’t do this alone.
That is only something you can decide if you can live with the lies or think you can trust him then stay if it is something that will make you unhappy go and be happy.